So for anyone still out there it has been 6 six years since last I posted here .... what? It's true time flies and guess we evolve, change and some things get left behind.
Sadly once again I find myself in need of a place to dump my rantings and ramblings as I try to navigate my life. My struggle to find love and my clinging to my faith ... even when I feel disconnected.
There are so many different kinds of love. There is being "in love", there is the love you have for your parents, the love you have for your kids, the love you have for your friends and family, the love you have for your pets, the love you have for God and then there is THAT love. You know the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with - if it only it were that easy!
Being in my late forties (and divorced for 12 year), I never could have comprehended the challenges I would have in meeting someone, let alone someone like minded. Why is love so elusive? I wish I could answer, it is something I struggle with daily.
I find it hard not to question and challenge God. I have been faithful, I have followed His teachings. I have without any intimacy (celibate) for more than 12 years, so why do I not deserve love? In all honesty - I don't know, but I need to believe. I need to hang onto HIS promises no matter what!
So I continue to battle on, some days are tear filled, others are blissfully unaware - but always believing my turn will come.
x x H
